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Writer's pictureSusan Kiskis

Discovering and Communicating Our Needs

During my 300 hour teacher training at Kula Kamala Foundation and Yoga Ashram, we’ve been discussing mindfulness, and most recently that conversation led to needs. I wrote so many notes the other day. What do I need? What do we need?


Marshall Rosenberg points out that we often frame things we need in the negative (I.e. what we don’t want/need). “Don’t touch that.” “Don’t say XYZ.” “Silence your cell phones.”


Do we even know what we need? Many times it’s a process of elimination until we discover what we do. Sometimes it’s different in various aspects of our lives.


What do you need?


What I knew I always needed was space to learn and grow, a space for safe communication where active listening is present without the listener giving me solutions unless I ask.



Earlier this summer I learned that what I needed was compassion, softness, gentleness.


And I am writing my next need list in which I am discovering so much about myself.


Have you over the past year investigated or learned about your needs? Have you learned about whether they are being met? And have you learned about whether you can live without them?


I’d love to hear your thoughts on this concept of needs and how we frame and communicate our needs.

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